![]() ![]() ![]() For her, masturbation is something women do – or should do – when there’s an unavailability of a man’s penis. It is clear that Jane does not think much of masturbation. When she said, “The person and I had a deep discussion that led to this revelation,” I imagined the lady telling her she masturbates in whispers and her eyes bulging, like someone who had discovered something grand.Īs Jane and I talked, Tade said, “I never tried it when I was single.” Then I asked, “Now nko?” Before she replied, Jane chipped in, “Why will she try it now when her husband dey gidigba?” Like something you only say to special people. Unlike Rachel, Jane made masturbation sound like a big deal. ![]() When I asked her to link me up so I could have a chat with this bestie, she said, “Ah no o, it is too private.” Then Jane (note that all names here are pseudonyms) said, “I tried it twice, it didn’t make sense and I felt stupid afterward.” Then she said she has a bestie who masturbates very regularly because her husband is not in Nigeria. Except you are among your geng, you do not throw the word masturbation anyhow if you do not want people staring at you, brows furrowed, mouth twitching, or calling Jesus to intervene in your matter.Īfter reading the excerpt, I rushed to my Friends Forever WhatsApp group, which had died a natural death, and asked, “Guys, do you masturbate?” At first, everywhere was silent. Ours is a more conservative society, so as I read through each sentence of her essay, I found myself admiring how she talked about her masturbation so brazenly – like it is a very normal thing, like eating ice cream. In her book excerpt, she shared how the curiosity to discover the meaning of the word orgasm led her to the front of a large mirror, her legs spread-eagled on the floor, her clitoris looking like the big nose of an old man, and her fingers moving slowly at first, rubbing, massaging until, in five minutes, she found the meaning of the big O. Rachel had enjoyed masturbating since she was a teenager. ![]()
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